Musings from Fayetteville Ft. Bragg North Carolina: On Jeremy’s 2nd “Alive Day”

An “Alive Day” is the anniversary on which a person lives despite a situation that likely should have killed him or her.

Some people here at Walter Reed celebrate it, and others loathe it. Jeremy and I acknowledge that it is a day of mixed feelings.

How is Jeremy doing? I asked him yesterday morning if he has cried recently about losing his legs. He said not lately that he can remember. I asked if he would cry in the future about losing his legs. He said that he was too busy trying to hold me together. That pretty well describes in general how I am doing.

Although I’ve had awesome experiences and privileges this year, they have been largely consumed, overshadowed, and dulled by the undercurrent of the awful events and circumstances we are in. I shall share some with you:

January

“Your husband’s legs won’t grow back, but Bryant (the woman who maimed Jeremy’s legs) needs to move on with her life,” said the ADA on speakerphone while attempting to convince me that the two-month plea bargain the judge recommended was a good deal because Bryant could possibly get zero jail time due to a technicality. It took me a week to calm down, to fight the urge to vomit, to call back and say that two months wasn’t acceptable. I have since found out that the DA’s office wasn’t forthright about Bryant’s arrest history, including a DWI charge in 2008, and possession of open container in her vehicle in 2011. See “November” for more details.

My study at the Library of Congress Law Library and watching Supreme Court oral arguments began in earnest…these are sacred places that give me life and stimulation…yeah, I’m a nerd at heart. The complex world of crime and justice unfolded before me in countless exciting and frightening tentacles. I’d like to take a moment to rebuke media criticism on the right and the left and defend that the Justices care deeply about individual Americans as well as Americans as a whole. John Oliver proved that the Justices are man’s best friend by spending an “incredible amount of time and almost an immoral amount of resources” to have people play with Supreme Court audio in a novel way to promote education.

February

Jeremy had more hand surgery, on the day of the ball, which I had looked forward to attending, sigh, especially because I had the perfect dress. Surgery and recovery suck – more pain, more scars, but not much more function. His hand will never be normal, yet it is amazing that the doctors at Duke were able to save it at all.

I sang “What’s Up?” by Four Non Blondes in the Warrior Café. People didn’t expect little me to be able to belt out a big song like that.

March

I engaged in public outreach efforts, hardly sleeping, to get Jerm’s story out and ensure that Bryant was held accountable for her actions. Too many people think that intoxicated driving is a minor crime, which gives me both passion and deflation.

Krista, my Special K, died on the Ides of March after a long battle with cancer. She was only 42, an only child of Sue, and was a mother of two. She supported me in all of my endeavors. She was smart, beautiful, and she enjoyed life. I miss her.

We went to the Japanese Embassy for dinner and were treated like royalty. One of the entrees was served on individual gold-painted clamshells.

April

Criminal court sentencing and relief that this chapter is behind us. Sleep. Then an extended depression set in deeply. More deeply than the depression and shock and fear experienced in the prior year and a half.

Shortly after the sentencing, our mailbox was vandalized with the words “dick” and “bitch” scrawled on it…who can you think of that would do something like that? I don’t know who did it because I don’t have evidence or witnesses. Because it was clearly an act of anger and hatred, the timing of it, the very act of it, well, you can see why what happened in “July” invokes an emotional leap that gives rise to a suspicious correlation, but that which has no evidence but for inference (speculation and reasoning). I am not making an accusation, though I am pointing out the coincidental relationship and people’s natural tendencies to make such connections based on one’s actions, reputation, and character.

Dick (photo taken three months after vandalism)

Bitch (photo taken three months after vandalism)

Baseball season started, and the Nationals Club treated us so well! Baseball games are the best part about living at Walter Reed!!! <3 :-="" span="" xoxo="">

This is a life-sized display -- I'm a shrimp

Famous Redskins Football Player

On the "Wall of Dreams" in the National's Stadium

May

Jerm got a Segway, which is an utterly fantastic tool for him to get around. But “standing” is not something that he can do for long periods. And where do we park it if we were to go out and about with it? Another irony is that I made this meme before Jeremy’s calamity:

I was on the back of a motorcycle in the first wave of Rolling Thunder’s Memorial Day ride.

June

We went to New York City and found out that it’s not a very handicap- or wheelchair-friendly place. No matter how quietly I cry in the middle of the night, Jeremy wakes up like a mother responds to her baby. Meeting Jon Stewart made me feel a bit better, though.

I flew through the air with the greatest of ease, a daring middle-aged woman on a flying trapeze.

July

I spent a couple of Saturdays volunteering to help clean DC Monuments: Ironically upon arriving at the MLK Jr. Memorial on the morning of July 19 after washing the Korean Memorial, I looked at my phone and was notified that our house in Fayetteville was robbed, see “November” for a suspicious correlation but that which has no evidence but for inference (speculation and reasoning). The officer on the phone that morning harmed us in two ways: he wouldn’t go through our house to tell us the extent of damage (or close our freezer door, secure our property, or warn us what we could expect inside, or take a report until we got into town, etcetera, as the Sheriff’s Office claimed they would have done in this situation), and a flashlight that the burglars dropped outside he told our neighbors not to touch it because it would be fine despite the impending rain. The forensics officer told us he was wrong, that it had become useless evidence because it had rained and the surrounding dirt spoiled it. She also said to put that sort of evidence in a paper bag because a plastic one will sweat and ruin the fingerprints. Our TVs and a little bit of my gold turned up at a pawn shop (silver and sentimental items aren’t pawnable), so they identified one of the criminals, a convicted sex offender with a minor in Virginia, who went through my panty drawer and upturned my house: Keyshawn T Matthews. He is on Fayetteville’s Crimestopper’s most wanted list, which relies on tips to catch him. What I don’t understand is how they nabbed him more than two weeks later for driving without a license, expired registration, no inspection, and no insurance, and his court date was August 29, 2014, but they didn’t do anything about the warrants for this burglary – and the police department today couldn't give me answers as to what is going on and why and how that happened.

Our third year in a row celebrating The Fourth of July on the South Lawn of the White House:

Jerm has "shorties" on

August

I started searching for a suitable home that can accommodate or be modified for a wheelchair. It’s a bloody nightmare in DC. Obstacles include: stairs inside and out; carpet; narrow doorways; long hallways with angles that make for impossible turns to go straight; kitchens and bathrooms and closets where Jerm can’t do a 360 in his chair; high counters; outside slopes and cobblestone; no zero-grade entryways; need tilted mirrors and a roll-in shower; blocking (studs) to attach grab bars in bathrooms; pedestal sinks; kitchen cabinet bases removed; faucets and doors with single levers; prohibitive placement of swinging doors; alternative/bedroom emergency exit; space around furniture to move about freely; height of light switches; height of clothing rods. Often when the square footage of a place increases, along with the price, they add a bedroom and a bathroom thereby making all the rooms smaller and negating our needs. I’m so frustrated with the market. Why aren’t more homes built with “universal design” and “aging in place” in mind where we don’t have to sacrifice form or function?

We saw a taping of the Colbert Report on the 52^nd anniversary of Marilyn Monroe’s death. Did you know that she sometimes used the alias Zelda Zonk? She was actually quite smart, assiduous, tormented, and a poet, she wrote:

I can’t really stand Human

Beings sometimes—I know

they all have their problems

as I have mine—but I’m really

too tired for it. Trying to understand,

making allowances, seeing certain things

that just weary me.

Now that I’ve met the Comedy Central dynastic duo, Jon and Stephen, I should appreciate the comedy-out-of-tragedy that characterizes life. RIP Robin Williams. Jeremy says to me, “You can’t rely on other people for your own happiness.”

September

On our 23^rd wedding anniversary exactly two months ago, we went to a museum, something that Jerm and I used to enjoy doing together. He lasted 50 minutes with breaks, partly due to a Metro kerfuffle on the way there, which involved extra walking on his prosthetics. I was heartbroken. Silent tears streamed down my face in the streets. I was so sad on a day that was supposed to be special. I bought a cast-iron bookend/bookholder hand, ironically a right hand. It’s amazing how useful a thumb is and how the rest of us take it for granted.

"One, Two, Three, Four, I Declare Thumb War"

We saw Cirque du Soleil Ama Luna. Wow to the physical marvel of human strength, contortion, and fearlessness. Cirque du Soliel makes it a point to be handicap friendly at their venues.

October

My back tooth’s large filling fell out while flossing. Ugh. I’ll spare you the vicarious pain. Oh and Jeremy did a sleep study to help explain why his body shakes in 15-30 second intervals for varying durations throughout the night, every night; the doctors don’t think it’s seizures, but the results haven’t yet returned. It’s annoying and scary.

I went to the ballet for the first time in my life – it was absolutely beautiful, the form and grace to the wonderful accompanying music. I didn’t expect to be so delighted.

November

My phone call merry-go-round today with regards to Keyshawn Matthews and getting restitution for the burglary: 1. Fayetteville Police Department: It’s in the District Attorney’s hands because he’s been charged. 2. District Attorney’s Office: The warrant hasn’t been served, so we can’t do anything until the Sheriff’s Office serves him, and we don’t know why it hasn’t been served. 3. Sheriff’s Office: It happened in the city, so the Fayetteville Police Department is supposed to serve the warrant, the Sheriff’s Office has nothing to do with it. 4. Transferred to Sheriff Watch Commander because Virginia sex offender status might put it in their purview: Call the Fayetteville Police Department to find out if an arrest was made and if the county needs to do something. 5. Fayetteville Police Department: We don’t know why he wasn’t nabbed for the subsequent crimes or the outcome/disposition. He was arrested for the burglary, but I don’t have that case file anymore. So you just have to wait until we find him. We rely on the crimestopper tips. The address on his license probably isn’t a good address anymore. Nobody actively looks for him, he just has to turn up. Any agency can serve the warrant. The warrants will stay indefinitely until he is served. [My head is spinning.]

Who vandalized our mailbox? Who assisted Matthews with the burglary of our house? Matthews couldn't have carried out the 55-inch TV by himself.

It has been suggested by other people that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Following Rhonda Bryant’s offenses against Jeremy and I, my friends helped me notice through the NC Court System Query website that her son, Dalton Bryant Junior, was charged with four separate crimes on different dates, all of which were continued multiple times, none of which I have yet sought the outcome of or looked at a comprehensive criminal record of the dates he was charged, and one of which he was in another courtroom at the exact time that his mother was being sentenced. His charges were: misdemeanor possession, misdemeanor resisting public officer, misdemeanor disorderly conduct, and infraction failure to wear a seatbelt. For these he had court dates at least in July 2013, August 2013, January 2014, February 2014, March 2014, April 2014, May 2014, June 2014, and August 2014. No wonder the courts are clogged – why did he get so many continuances?

Then on August 7, 2014, literally one block away from our house on Old Castle Drive, not even three weeks after the burglary of our house, Junior was charged with six felonies: felony larceny of firearm, felony possession of stolen firearm, felony conspiracy, felony second degree burglary, felony larceny after break/enter, and felony possession of stolen goods/property. He had a court date for these in August 2014, and his cases were continued for this Thursday, November 13, 2014.

[**Update: His six felony cases are continued for Thursday, December 18, 2014.**]

There is no evidence of a connection with this burglary to our burglary. It is a dead end; however, until I see some evidence proving his innocence (or guilt), I will always wonder.

Also, as to Rhonda Bryant’s criminal records, well, there are inconsistencies and history that is missing. From two states and three counties in North Carolina I found issues. Also, the DOT driving record, which relies on agencies to report to it, is abysmal, especially because it doesn’t show any license suspension (there's supposed to be a 30-day automatic suspension after being charged with DWI) or any record whatsoever of what she did to Jeremy. I’m not sure if the evidence that I’ve gathered proves incompetence or if there is something corrupt going on. It is a Class H felony for a person without lawful authority to intentionally alter or change any official case record. Pieces of her records are missing, such as a speeding charge in Pasquotank County, and when I followed up aggressively, they told me the DOT’s citation numbers don’t match their records and there is nothing I can do about it because there’s nothing there. Or Cumberland County’s criminal records, which came back to me as 7 pages except that 3 of those pages were identical copies, all seven certified by the clerk. Or Robeson County where her failure to yield the week before she hit Jeremy is simply gone and even the Cumberland County DA said they couldn’t find it. This is particularly outrageous because I have a screen shot of the charge, I called the courthouse directly to find out the date of the offense, I had a friend go to the courtroom on the court date for it, and she was refused entry and turned away even though the public has a right to see such proceedings. Also on two different court dates in Cumberland I said, “Victim present.” But neither her nor her attorney was there, so there were supposed to be warrants issued. None were, and there were no penalties for them not being in court at the appointed times.

What’s going on here? Something isn’t right.

Disclaimer: I am disclosing Rhonda Bryant’s public records publicly (the double use of “public” here is the result of a strange legal nuance), which I originally obtained in the investigation of anticipation of civil litigation, and I am in compliance with NC GS 20-43.1 and 18 US Code 2721, specifically (b)(14), because it is a permissible use related to public safety.

Inaccurate criminal and driving records are a legitimate public safety issue. I am using this forum to educate the public, promote safety, and reduce crime. Keeping dangerous drivers off of our roads is everybody’s business. This is a legitimate public concern. We have the right to accurate government proceedings and public records, including arrests and charges. I do not know if Bryant’s records are an isolated case, an anomaly, or if these issues are indicative of a bigger problem in Cumberland County. She is a repeat offender, and she continued to drive intoxicated after what she did to Jeremy. I want to see the goodness in everyone, and it took me a long time to realize that she is a danger to society and a drain on resources.

But here’s the rub. For me to vituperate her such as I am herein, does it ostracize her to a degree that she can never redeem herself or recover? Absolutely not. Her past actions will never be forgotten, but the one reason people carry on with living is because of hope. If she has hope that she can be a good person in the world, then she can make it so. But only she can decide to be a good person and make the world a better place through her actions.

The revelation of information in this blog is both to raise awareness and to ask for help.

North Carolina _SHOULD_ eliminate limits to the look-back period of a driver's DWI convictions, lower the BAC threshold to .04, increase prison sentences, and require all persons convicted of DWI to have interlock devices installed in their vehicles because everybody knows that intoxicated driving is stupid and dangerous, and accordingly, it should be punished with a heavy hand. When your loved one is maimed by an intoxicated driver, it makes you research and realize that stricter penalties, enforcement, and accountability laws that have been enacted in other places really do serve as an effective deterrent. Intoxicated driving is a violent and preventable crime, and if you find yourself pooh-poohing it as a minor crime, then you haven’t been personally affected yet…and I’m working hard to help make it so that you never have to feel that sort of pain and anguish.